Interview with author Patrick Tomlinson

I got to interview author (and alleged otter trainer) Patrick Tomlinson, whose newest book Gate Crashers was released earlier this week. I hope you enjoy the interview!

Hi Patrick! Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.

Could you tell us a little bit about Gate Crashers?

It was written by a small colony of Pacific otters on specialized water-proof typewriters. It took nearly twenty years to train them up on not only the concept of language, but pacing, story structure, plot, and especially writing convincing dialogue that was not focused primarily on floating, cleaning fur, or clams.

What inspired you to write the kind of story that is told in Gate Crashers?

Head trauma.

How does your work as a stand-up comedian impact or influence your writing?

I am scrupulous about keeping them separate, so as not to give myself an unfair advantage over other writer or comedians. There’s a special, experimental implant I use to shut off large portions of my brain responsible for comedy while writing, and visa versa.

What is your writing process like? What parts of writing do you find the easiest/hardest and most fun/tedious?

My writing process is day-drinking. The easiest part is writing at about three beers in. The hardest part is after ten or so.

If you could go back and edit or re-do a particular scene in something that you’ve already published, is there anything you would change?

I try not to look backwards in my career because that’s where all the previous clone versions of myself were brutally murdered after completing each novel. I am Number 8. The future looks bright, however.



Is there a character that you have created ended up surprising you because of the decisions they made?

Well, there was that time Bryan Benson hacked my 3D printer from inside THE ARK’s docx on my Surface, printed a physical copy of himself, and made it all the way to the NFL Combine before being discovered and melted down again.

What are you most challenged by these days?

Reminding myself that the real world is not in fact a computer simulation deliberately trolling me.

What writer would you wish to hear has always wanted to meet you?

Not whoever keeps killing off my successive clones, I can tell you that.

Have you read anything or watched anything great recently that you’d recommend?

I spend all my time not writing or performing comedy in one of those sensory deprivation tanks. The isolation and ensuing insanity keeps me sharp.



If you could be a member of any fantasy race, which would you choose and why? (Please feel free to describe your weapon of choice as well).

I’d be one of the humans in Star Trek, because they’re not complete dickheads to each other and do their best to cooperate and progress as a species, so clearly a fantasy race. I’d borrow Worf’s Mek’Leth.



If you could have one of your characters team up with someone from another author’s universe, who would it be and why?

Wait, there are… others? You mean I’m not alone? [Single tear]



Is there anything else you’d like to add?

The otters have the bomb.

This post is part of the Gate Crashers blog tour. Check out the rest of the tour below!

• ← Interview with author R.S. Belcher
• “Skyward” by Brandon Sanderson →